Am I Trying to Kill Myself? Food Choices, Self-Esteem and the Will to Live

burger-monster
With awakening prosperity comes the challenge to dig deeper into my personal challenges: FOOD, EATING, COMPULSION! However you want to look at it.

I have been feeling very good about my relationship with the Universe. I have done lots of work to move into a place of genuine and sincere trust of the Universe ( not just talk, but real trust.) Now, though, I am being challenged to put my money where my mouth is– and not bacon or baguettes. That’s right. If I am so trusting in the Universe, and so abundant and so loved, why don’t I eat a more healthy, high vibrational diet? This is the issue that I’m addressing in this video.

I discovered that my self-esteem is lacking. Actually, I realize that I have little to no self-esteem. I thought that I had it, but through some good dialogues with Spirit, I realized that my respect and dignity for myself was wanting. My food choices were those of someone who does not value life or her body, and maybe there is even an unconscious movement toward death or murder of the self… HEY, I’m a philosopher. It’s my imperative to explore the deepest aspects of being human. And although I am very spiritual, it doesn’t mean that I don’t contemplate thoughts of self-destruction. Over eating is a form of self-mutilation, and I am the first to admit that I have issues.

I am sharing this because it is real for me. It can appear subtle, but it’s something that I am confronting. I’m hoping that it helps my sister or brother recognize a potential blindspot in themselves. An unconscious drive for destruction can be halted, healed and transformed with Awareness, Self Love, Self Compassion and a kick-ass strategy. I’m inviting you to explore with me.

Enjoy this video taken from the back of a Parisian bus.

Big hug from the Shadowlands,
Crystal Lynn

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