Just a quick note before we tuck into the article…The feeling of unworthiness is at the root of many problems we Heart-Centered Entrepreneurs face. If you really want to do some serious work around healing it and any other dark parts of your subconscious mind, then I invite you to join me in my free Masterclass called Healing the Healer: 3 Powerful Tools for Healing, Transformation and Self-Realization. In this three week program, I and three other powerful healers bring you some serious insights to the roots of unworthiness, shadow work and some powerful tools to overcome them.
Last year, I was on the verge of a financial breakthrough, which, spiritually speaking, means that I was on the verge of a huge mental and emotional awakening. Finances follow mindset, attitude, focus and emotions.
I was walking in an uliveto in the hills above Florence, Italy. It was springtime, so the field was full of flowers. Brilliant red poppies and a bright palette of snapdragons, dotted the landscape. Apollo was trotting along beside me, nose to the ground sniffing out the deer and wild boar that roam the landscape.
I had been thinking very intensely about the concept of deserving and as I walked through the olive grove, I had my phone out with my Evernote app open. I was dictating my thoughts as I made the following observation about the people I had come into contact:
- I had a session this morning with a beautiful young woman who subconsciously believes that her intuition doesn’t function and she can’t understand messages from her Spirit Guides. Her rules: only certain people are clairvoyant and she is not one of them. She doesn’t have a “special gift.” She therefore she’s unworthy of thriving intuition.
- A girlfriend just revealed that she doesn’t believe that any of her friends and community will care for her after her major abdominal surgery. Her rule: only old friends can be relied upon for assistance.
- Another girlfriend’s family doesn’t think she deserves the house she inherited. The rule she inherited from her family is that you have to work hard to be worthy of valuable things. Therefore, she is unworthy of inheritance.
- Another one of my financially comfortable friends doesn’t feel like she can make big expensive purchases without approval from her spouse, even though they’ve already got an agreement that allows her to do whatever she pleases when she pleases. Her internal rule is that she can’t make these purchases on her own authority. She is worthy only by permission from someone else.
- Gosh. Even my landlord today was over fixing the toilet and he kept asking me for permission to call the plumber. He couldn’t muster the inner authority to take action to make his life easier without approval.
And get this last example. Apollo and I went to another girlfriend’s house to do a walk together. It was very early on a Saturday morning and as we were all leaving from her home, I heard someone say, “Creeestaaahl” in a very small and weak voice. I turn around and said to Annalisa, “Did you hear that?” She replied, “No.” The voice was sooo small and weak that I thought I was hallucinating. So I kept on walking. And then that voice said, “Abollo!” Apollo paused and I felt ice in my spine and so I turned back and started looking around.
Across the street from Annalisa’s house all I could see was her neighbor’s home. There was the front door leading to large property with an ivy covered wall. Inside the front door was a mail slot and someone was calling MY name from it. “Creeestahl! Hep me!” I panicked and looked through the narrow mail slot and saw two little tear-filled eyes looking at me. I said, “Who are you? Are you okay?” The person on the other side said, “I ahm Ahnjee. Ken yu hep me?” I said, “What? Who are you?” The person took a deep breath and said slowly, “I am Angie, your housekeeper.”
Utterly shocked, I said, “What the f*ck, Angie!? Why are you crying? What’s wrong? Open the door!” In a tearful voice, she explained that she was trapped in the garden without a key.
It seems that Angie had been cleaning for this family the day before and she had been locked inside because the wind had blown the doors shut with her keys and phone inside the house. So, since Friday afternoon at 4:30pm until Saturday morning at 7:00, she had been locked outside the house, in the garden with the mosquitos. OMG. The mossies in Italy. FIERCE.
To make a long story short, Annalisa and I, with the help of her husband and a ladder, were able to get Angie out of the high-walled garden.
When I asked Angie why she didn’t ask for help from someone passing by on the street, she reluctantly explained that she didn’t think anyone would help her. She was too ashamed. In her mind, people would either ignore her or they would not want to help.
That is what she thought!
But get this. Apollo and I had just been at Annalisa’s house that evening for dinner from 7:00pm to 9:00pm. If she had trusted her own personal value more, she could have reached out and gotten rescued 12 hours earlier. She said that she had heard people across the street, but her undeserving, unworthy self would not let her interrupt our fun to get the help she needed.
Angie told me, “If she had known you were there, I would have called out.” But my point was that she is a valuable human being who was in a predicament and needed help. Anyone could have helped! Her personal rule is that she is a foreigner and citizens don’t help foreigners.
I think that my ultimate point here is that it can be really crazy up in some of our heads! We get confused and we make up rules about what is valuable and what is not. Very often, we think that what is not valuable, is us, our wishes, our desires and even our needs. My heart still breaks when I think about Angie being trapped in that self-imposed prison of unworthiness!
EFT Tapping Therapy to Overcome Unworthiness
EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. It was developed by Gary Craig as an emotional healing tool to improve physical and emotional pain, as well as, work performance. When we have physical problems, there are almost always underlying emotional issues. These emotional blockages create an imbalance in our system and disrupt the flow of energy through our bodies. EFT tapping therapy is not an alternative to traditional medicine or psychotherapy. It is a complementary therapy that can be applied alongside traditional therapy methods. As a certified Spiritual Life Coach, I use it personally, and I recommend it to my clients.
Let’s say that as a child, you got yelled at every time you forgot to do something. It would be a natural response to flinch, cringe or shrink when an adult yells. Heck! Even if a child just perceives anger in their parent, they are likely to withdraw. The shoulders hunch, the armpits moisten, the heart races. You could totally deal with this if your mind and body would relax and let go of the incident. But most likely, it doesn’t because we are often shamed when we do things wrong and we tend to repeat the negative dialogues that are told to us when we’re wrong. And more often than not, our minds, especially when we are children, distort reactions. When I was a kid, and I did something wrong, it felt like it was the end of the world and I thought my mom was going to kill me. The fear of getting in trouble was always worse than the actual punishment because my mind always built up the story in anticipation of my mom’s reaction.
All of this drama and trauma in our minds leads to stuck energy in our bodies.
Tapping specific spots on the body can help restore the energy balance and treat physical pain. There are important points in the body called the meridian points. EFT focuses on these points. Similar to acupuncture therapy, EFT uses these tapping points to treat the client. The difference between acupuncture and EFT is that the former uses needles and the latter uses tapping fingertips to apply pressure to these meridian points. EFT is a physically painless process, but the emotional release is off the chain! I always have tremendous breakdowns in my personal sessions and they lead to mind-blowing shifts in my consciousness.
There is probably not a single human being on this planet that hasn’t, at some point in their life, felt unworthy. This feeling of unworthiness is sometimes so strong that we are consciously aware of it, every single minute. We even make choices, and develop a manner of speaking and behaving that reflects our unworthy mindset. You’ve seen it before, I’m sure–
- the statuesque woman who looks like she’s trying to make herself smaller;
- the intelligent woman who pretends to know less so she can attract a man who loves her;
- the brilliant guy who won’t go for the big promotion because he’s afraid of failing.
Sometimes this feeling can be sneaky, it can be hiding in the depths of your unconscious mind, blocking you from reaching your goals without you even noticing. If any of these statements resonate with you, then EFT will be beneficial for you to implement in your life.
When people live with this negative mindset, they often think that they don’t deserve what they have, and that they don’t deserve to have anything better than what they do have. They might feel a sense of guilt, taking on things that aren’t necessarily their responsibility. They don’t feel smart enough to achieve success as others do. They feel like they aren’t really worthy of healing, feeling better, feeling balanced. Very often, instead of dealing with the unworthiness mindset, they focus on external remedies like working harder to earn more respect and money, for example. But activities won’t improve this mindset.
I’m a big believer in holistic, energetic practices as a way to combat feelings of unworthiness. EFT is an incredible practice that helped me transform a huge level of unworthiness in my life. Below is an example of a basic EFT Tapping sequence that you can try for yourself.
Performing the Tapping Technique
Before you start this process, identify your problem. What is it that gives you the feeling of unworthiness? You have to also think about how painful it is for you and if you can feel it in your body, it is even better. Identify the emotional and physical pain level. Give it a number from 1 to 10, 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest. You can write this out in your journal, if you want.
Create a phrase that opens you up to Unconditional Love. Combine your pain with a positive affirmation for self-love and worthiness. For instance, if you are feeling unworthy because you think you are not making enough money, you can say something like, “Even though I don’t feel successful in my life because I don’t make enough money,” then combine it with this positive affirmation, “I love myself unconditionally and I accept myself with all my flaws.” Feel free to write down this statement in your journal to contemplate in the future.
Here are some other examples of positive affirmations that you can use during your tapping session:
- I choose me no matter what.
- I am worthy of infinite love and compassion.
- I am at peace with myself.
- I am beautiful inside out.
- I have the inner strength and resilience that I need.
- I am powerful and capable of achieving my goals.
A positive affirmation doesn’t have to be inauthentic. If these feel too false for you, just choose a phrase that makes you feel better. Choose something that will move you up the emotional scale.
The Tapping Points
The energy lines in our bodies are called the meridian points. These points have been used in acupuncture therapy and other eastern massage techniques for centuries. There are 12 main meridian points in our bodies:
- Large intestine
- Small intestine
- Triple heater
As you may have noticed, each of these points represents an organ in the body. In addition to these organ based points, there are eight points that work with the main meridians. These additional points help with the flow of CHI, life energy. These points are:
- Conception Vessel
- Governor Vessel
- Penetrating Vessel
- Thoroughfare Vessel
- Girdling Vessel
- Yin link and Yang link vessel
- Yin heel and Yang heel vessel
These tapping points strengthen the connection between the twelve main meridians. They improve blood and energy circulation. For our tapping session, we’re going to apply pressure to some key points along the meridian lines by tapping. You can watch my video to follow along with this process, if this is new to you, or you want some clarity.
Tapping Sequence for Unworthiness and Money Scarcity
Because so many people are feeling unworthiness around finances, lack and scarcity, I wanted to create something that you could really benefit from now. Remember that you can use your own words and your own situation. You can use romance, job success, health, friendships, overcoming fear, self-doubt, anxiety or any area of your life where you want to see improvement, but you are not getting it. EFT is great with helping you feel unstuck.
As you’re going through these steps, remember that the key to success lies in feeling the emotions that surround the statements. I’m going to go through the sequence quickly, but you can always pause and feel into the statements.
Here are the steps:
- Tap the outer side of your hand and say, “Even though I feel unworthy because I am not feeling financially successful, I intend to free myself from the feelings of unworthiness.”
- Keep tapping the same point and say “Even though I don’t want to be in debt and financially strapped, I am ready to let go of my blockages and resistance to true worth and financial abundance.”
- Keep tapping the same spot and say “Even though I do not have all the money I want, I invite worthiness into my life and I embrace true wealth.”
- Now tap with your fingertips between your eyebrows and say “I don’t make enough money.”
- Tap your side of your eye and say, “I am not good enough.”
- Tap under your eye and say, “I can’t make it happen.”
- Tap under your nose and say, “I have too much debt.”
- Tap your chin and say, “There is too much pressure on me.”
- Tap on your collar bone and say, “But I’m putting this pressure on myself.”
- Tap under your arm right below your armpit and say, “I don’t need this kind of pressure.”
- Tap the top of your head and say, “I just need to focus on my worth.”
- Tap between your eyebrows and say, “But worthiness is an issue for me.”
- Tap the side of your eye and say, “I don’t have the things other people have.”
- Tap under your eye and say, “I don’t have the things I want.”
- Tap under your nose and say, “If I had more, I could further my life.”
- Tap your chin and say, “I have big dreams.”
- Tap on your collarbone and say, “But I am just barely surviving.”
- Tap under your arm and say, “But I am surviving.”
- Tap on the top of your head and say, “I am still here.”
- Tap between your eyebrows and say, “I do a lot of things right.”
- Tap the side of your eye and say, “I am grateful for what I have.”
- Tap under your eye and say, “I see a lot of good around me and inside me.”
- Tap under your nose and say, “I do have some money.”
- Tap your chin and say, “I just need to know how to grow money.”
- Tap on your collarbone and say, “I can grow money like a gardener grows vegetables.”
- Tap under your arm and say, “I need patience, focus and energy.”
- Tap on the top of your head and say, “I feel good about these things.”
- Tap between your eyebrows and say, “I am going to let money grow like vegetables in a garden.”
- Tap the side of your eye and say, “I let my life be a garden of nourishing vegetables and blooming flowers.”
- Tap under your eye and say, “This is such a worthy garden!”
- Tap under your nose and say, “I allow my garden to flourish..”
- Tap your chin and say, “I tend my garden with my focus, patience and energy.”
- Tap on your collar bone and say, “I enjoy spending time in my garden.”
- Tap under our arm and say, “I work my garden every single day.”
- Tap on the top of your head and say, “My self-worth is evident by this garden that I am envisioning.”
- Between your eyebrows, “That bed of lettuce is my self respect.”
- Side of your eye, “Those tomatoes are my great ideas.”
- Under your eye, “Those roses are all the ways that love comes to me.”
- Under your nose, “Those fruit trees are my joyful play.”
- Your chin, “Those beautiful butterflies are all the hardships I’ve overcome.”
- On your collar bone, “Those ladybugs are keeping any hidden feelings of unworthiness in check.”
- Under your arm, “I totally feel worthy.”
- On the top of your head, “I am a really good gardener!”
Now take a deep breath, and just relax for a few minutes. Hopefully, you are feeling a terrific flow of energy. You can grab your journal if you want to and write down any inspirations that come to you.
I tend to do my tapping a little non-traditionally because I like using imagery. You can always change the sentences to fit your specific needs. If you don’t feel good enough, you can repeat this sequence one more time, or just relax, and give it a try later. The more you repeat the negative sentences and feel the negative words, the emptier your emotional body will become. And the repeating circle will enable you to dig deeper into the real source of how you started feeling unworthiness and what brought you there. This is a giant step toward breaking free from the prison of unworthiness.
And finally, if you really want to do some serious work around healing the dark parts of your subconscious mind, then I invite you to join me in my free Masterclass called Healing the Healer: 3 Powerful Tools for Healing, Transformation and Self-Realization. I look forward to meeting you there!
Now, go out there and plant your prosperity garden!!