Last night I came home to find a dead red wasp in my apartment, just inside the entrance from the balcony. I felt dismayed because I was barefoot and my apartment was dark. I could easily have stepped on that thing and gotten a nasty sting. I was strangely nervous and irritated by it for a few reasons. The first is that it was rather big. The red wasps here in Zagreb are full bodied creatures with a big hum. They are confident, which means that Goddess has gifted them with a badass stinger. The other reason I was uneasy was because I could sense that the thing was still alive. For some reason, the thought of bugs suffering death is really heartbreaking for me. Look, I know that a lot of people couldn’t care less about insects. But for me, I have a profound attraction to them. I am curious, afraid, amazed and in love with them. Bugs are designed to perfection. There is nothing wasted on them. Every part has a beautiful form and function. Wasps in particular, are GORGEOUS. Tiny waists, big eyes, and a stinger to light you on fire! Wasp, I am proud to say, is my Spirit Guide.
A few years ago, I discovered this when I was on a run in the dry hills of Orange County. Three giant Tarantula Hawks went with me on that run and they informed me that I was ‘of them.’ They called me the Fairy Queen and they said that I am quite fit and ready to rule my kingdom judiciously. You can take a peek at that post and follow my adventures on Facebook if you feel inspired! By the way, this adventure with the Wasps happened at the same time I sold my business and learned that my mother was dying. I think that this was the Universe telling me that it’s time to step into Queendom, now that my mom was dying. She was always the queen and I the princess, but her transition meant that I would now be so much more.
When Wasp comes, it is always to remind me that I am the Fairy Queen and a natural architect. I am the designer, not just of life, following my heart to love and adventure, but I am the architect that builds the bridges that unite Light and Shadow, the Inner World with the outer world, and the Spiritual world with the material world. I am an architect with vision, ambition and know-how. I am Queen of Fairies.
Yesterday, I sat for hours getting my hair braided. It is a love-hate relationship, me and hair braiding. I love having my hair braided, but it’s 12-24 hours of sitting and getting my tender scalp pulled. Yesterday, I sat while three women pulled and combed and tressed me. At one point, my hair was piled up on top of my head and I looked in the mirror and thought, I look like a queen with a braided crown! When Fanny Germaine Markić finished my hair, I was delighted and full of myself. I always feel most like me when my hair is in this style. Long straight braids. I <3 it!
When I got home last night, I kicked off my shoes and was padding around the apartment in the dark. That’s when I saw my little Spirit Guide in front of my sliding glass doors. My 3-dimensional, ego told me that I should move the beast outside. I forced myself to go and confront the tiny carcass and when I did, I found that he was still alive. I decided to follow my gut instinct, which was to let him rest in peace. Don’t disturb his transition. He was in my space for a reason and I was not to simply sweep him away. So I sent him my usual blessings and appreciated his life and then I got in bed.
Before going to sleep, though, I took a card from The Wisdom of Avalon Oracle deck. I asked, “What is the message from the little Wasp?” Can you guess what card I pulled? THE QUEEN.
The message from The Queen and my little Wasp guide? I am fully aligned. I am in the Vortex. I AM that I AM. <3
And of course, don’t fuck with Fairies. ♥
You’re awesome!
Thanks, Carrie!