My Precious Gollum Self

Today, I’m spending time with my Inner Child who disdains herself and always appears in the form of Gollum. She represents that part of me who was told that she wasn’t pretty and would therefore need to be charming and smart in order to have acceptance in society. As a child, having no developed filters of judgment or discernment, she took this to heart and what began as a tiny little hurt in the back of her mind, festered into a raging, lunatic Gollum that lingers in the dark subconscious– appearing only when it needs to feed.

But it is during these times of necessary recharge that I am able to capture my Gollum and hug her to my heart. I pull her in and love her as she struggles to at first devour me, and then to give up her fight and surrender in my arms, spent and broken. It is at this time that I validate my Gollum. I don’t ask her to change, for that would be to make her withdraw into the comfort of what she thinks she is. Instead, I take the lessons that I have learned through LOVE and I see her as she truly is– a Divine aspect of Source energy expressing itself as a wounded child. Instead of trying to change Gollum (myself,) I instead exalt her and let her decide what her next step will be in her own evolution.

Today, after she fought, she gave it up and asked if she could stay with me on the surface. My response was an affirmative breathing in of my little one in full acceptance of who I AM. I AM a multidimensional being who experiences the full spectrum of emotions. In my expression of Source Energy, I AM sometimes Gollum and sometimes Christ. I AM ALWAYS SOURCE ENERGY in my humanly failures and successes, I AM always Divine.

Wishing you a day full of your Self in all its many aspects. 

Share:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Here I am! Eccomi qui!

Florence, Italy

Copyright

COPYRIGHT © 2019 BY CRYSTAL LYNN BELL ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Excerpts may be used, with FULL CREDIT given to my website and me as writer. Unauthorized use of Full Article copy or duplication of any material on this website without express and written permission from its author and owner is strictly prohibited. Thank you.